Our Adoption so far

I realized that the back story of our adoption is nowhere in writing. I also realized the process has been fragmentally documented thus far. Is "fragmentally" a word? Anyway, I'm going to attempt to recap everthing that has happened so far.

In August of 2011, after 6 months of trying to get pregnant, Kristen and I started talking about adoption. We had always said that we’d love to adopt one day. We weren't frustrated with not getting pregnant (or at least I wasn’t), but we were ready to at least consider adoption. After a phone call with a lady about domestic adoption, we decided we would wait. I don't recall our reasoning for that decision.

Then, we went to Orchard Hill Church's "The Gathering" on the University of Northern Iowa's campus in Early September. The entire service was about how we are adopted into God's family through Christ. There were multiple people who spoke on this aspect of God's love for us. There was even an interview with a family who adopted a little girl. Kristen and I were nudging each other the entire service. It seemed that God was speaking to us through the entire time. While this may be the most highly attended service of the year, it seemed like we were the only people in the room. Afterwards, Kristen and I decided that God wanted us to look into adoption further. We decided to look into international adoption. Kristen contacted an Agency in Des Moines called About a Child.

Immediately, they hit it off. Kristen talked about wanting to adopt a child from Russia (our preliminary research led us to believe that this was the only place we could adopt from because we're only 24 years old). After talking for an hour and a half about our faith and love for kids, the lady mentioned an adoption pilot program for adopting from Uganda. She mentioned to Kristen that there were two little girls (ages 3 and 2) that had been on the waiting list for months. The agency was thinking of splitting the sisters into separate adoptions because they'd been waiting so long.

We decided that we'd be interested in looking into (emphasis on the looking into part) adopting the girls. Kristen was thoroughly excited; I was nervously weighing pros/cons and working my way through my analytical mumbo jumbo. I don't make big decisions quickly. When we talked to About a Child again, and learned of some of the qualifications, we were dismayed that it wouldn't be possible for us to adopt the girls.

However, the lady from About a Child was persistent.

She still wanted to know if we were interested. I was confused. In my mind, rules were rules and this was a done deal. However, we said we'd be interested if an exception could be made. This is conversation ended around 9 p.m. That night, Kristen and I prayed that if God wanted us to do adopt the girls, that he blatantly show us. At around 9 a.m. the next morning, the same lady called Kristen and said that the "situation" had been resolved. What?? How? Overnight?

Yep. Overnight.

The lady from About a Child managed to call Uganda and get a hold of the About a Child Rep. Between the two of them, the situation was resolved. HOLY CRAP. This was huge to me. I couldn't believe that God had resolved such a huge hurdle in only 12 hours.

From then on, (well, I still took a few days to come around to the idea of being a father of two) we knew that God wanted us to adopt the girls. We talked to wonderful friends of ours who recently adopted four siblings from Poland, arranged paperwork, got fingerprinted, started the homestudy process, and praying for our girls!

We learned that Faith (3 years) and Stecia (2 years) were living with their grandmother. Grandma is elderly and also looks after several other children. We got pictures, medical information, and other details. We also get periodic updates from About a Child. We also learned that a man (from Uganda) would be going to Uganda to adopt his niece and wouldn't be far from where Faith and Stecia live. He graciously took made the extra trip and took some pictures for us while he was there.

After finalizing the homestudy, sending some funds, raising some funds, and paperwork, we're patiently (or at least trying to be patient) for our court date in Uganda. If court goes well, we'll be the legal gaurdians of Faith and Stecia! When I think of the impact we will have on them and the impact they will have on us I can hardly contain myself. I’m constantly telling Kristen “I want to go to Africa! Why can’t they just call us!” We’re keeping busy and anxiously anticipating “the call.” When that happens, I’ll update the blog. Until then, enjoy record breaking temperatures :)

getting there.

"So I'll stand; with arms high and heart abandoned. In awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand; my soul Lord to you surrendered. All I am is yours."

Those are some pretty powerful lyrics. I love the idea of completely abandoning all things, my heart included, and selling out for God. Many talks/lessons/sermons focus on the idea of living for Christ in all areas of life. They teach us to invite our co-workers to church, have patience with our children, and love our spouses unconditionally. While this is great, I always feel there is a part of these talks this is missing.

People need motivation.

When I tell my students to do an assignment or take a test, they'll only do so if there is something in it for them. If there is not a grade associated with the assignment, I will have 5-10% of students finish it. If I tell a student not to swear in class, he/she will only do so because they do not want an administrator in their face. Students (like the rest of us) will only do something if there is a reason.

The rest of us are the same way. Think about it.. Would we go to work if it weren't for the paycheck? Would we pay the utilities if the threat of getting the water turned off wasn't there? Would we house-train the dog if we didn't mind pee-stained carpet? Would we recyle if we didn't care about the environment?

Would we abandon our hearts, lives, and personal agendas if...

If what? What is the reason the church teaches us to do this? Why surrender and sing "All I am is yours?" I think many Christians can give the Sunday School answer of "Jesus" when asked this question. BUT, DO WE REALLY GET IT? We abandon our hearts, lives, and personal agendas because he sacrificed so much for us. He stepped down from bliss into a crappy, selfish, sinful world. A world that would reject him as soon as they figured out who he really was. He knew the whole time that he would be nailed to two posts. How much must he want to be in relationship with us to do something like that?

HE LOVES us beyond anything we can fathom. Picture the closest, most helpless person in your life. For me, its my wife. Now, picture the most aweful thing that could ever happen to him/her. For me, its that she be brutally tortured, raped, and killed. Now, picture that person doing it willingly. Picture that person having to literally go and put his/herself in that situation.

Could you as the mother to your child, husband to your wife, or friend to your friend actually follow through with this? Could you send your most beloved into a situation like this, knowing what would happen? Could you imagine that person willingly doing it?

The answer to that question is NO. You couldn't. I wouldn't believe a person who says otherwise.

But, God and Jesus made those decisions. They decided to do it. And for what? To be in relationship with a bunch of beings who (for the most part) don't think of him except once or twice a year? Seems like a loser bet to me. HOWEVER, Jesus made that choice. For 33 years as a human, he carried through.

As a person who needs motivation, that is my motivation. I need it. I'm a worthless follower of Jesus otherwise. I still struggle. There are few parts of myself that I feel I've fully surrendered. Most of me only feels "partly" there. A clear understanding of the 'why' is crucial. I'm selfish, but I'm feeling more and more selfless all the time.

The only reason I try? Out of sheer gratitude and awe of what HE sacrificed for me. Its not much in comparison, but I'm going to offer all I can for him. I'm getting there, with the help of God all the time.

Are you?

mediocrity

I'm at school and so frustrated by my students acceptance of where they are. They complain that I give them too much work and expect too much out of them. They are quite content to learn as little as they can. I try to push the idea of a bigger picture. There is much outside of the classroom that can be useful if they apply themselves now. There are many things to gain; even outside of solving equations and graphing lines.

mediocrity is the enemy of growth. Its a comfortable place to be and it takes sacrifice to move from that place. I wouldn't mind beating mediocrity with a hammer (if it were a tangible thing). I fall into it so often, but I desire so much not to. I need to come up with practical things to keep myself out of that place.

DON'T BE MEDIOCRE! BREAK THE MOLD!

Thoughts and Ramblings

Is my job an extension of who I am in Christ?

God has given me a job to do. First of all, to be his follower. To do his will. To bring him the glory he deserves. This is the job he has given all people. Since I'm a Christian, this is my primary responsibility. So, above all else, this is my mission in this life.

God has currently given me another job to do. I'm a school teacher in a relatively high need setting. Is doing my job well, by human standards, part of what God desires that I do/be? Must I strive to be the best teacher of mathematics that I can to be serving God and his will in the highest capacity that I can? My insides tell me, yes. However, I don't know if that is from God or from the general christian culture I live in.

Back to the first job God has given me. What is his will, and what brings him glory in my job? His will states (aka the greatest commandment) that I should love God with all my heart and secondly, love my neighbor as myself. It seems that practically speaking, the doing of my job by human standards is of little value in the "love God with all your heart" category. Doing my job well in the category of "love your neighbor as yourself" may be a more debatable topic in my mind. However, God does command me to obey the laws of man. The laws of teaching (and therefore, man) encourage me to be the best teacher I can be.

The doing of my job well should also influence the "love my neighbor as myself" category in an extreme way. These students look to me for ultimate guidance in the area of math first and foremost. Loving them, would be to teach it in an easily understandable manner such that they're prepared for the next level and ultimately a little more prepared for life in the real world.

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Rules: Hard and fast, or an extension of grace?

It is my belief that rules exist for a reason and they're to be followed. God tells us to obey the laws of the land and since I make the laws of my land, students should follow them. If I don't obey the laws of the land I live in, I don't always receive a physical consequence. However, I have to believe that God judge me eventually (without the presence of Christ in my life). So, do students always get a physical consequence if they do not follow these rules? I'm reminded of the phrase, "don't spare the rod" in regards to child rearing.

It's easy for the teacher to let students get away with breaking rules. It makes you more popular among students. It also makes you look better to administrators. On the outside, everyone benefits from lacking enforcement of rules; at least initially. Eventually, I conclude this would lead to destructive behavior and selfish actions. I think this breeds a kind of dark, uneducated, impoverished culture.

Ecclesiates

A couple weeks ago, a man approached me. Seeing my Bible, he exclaimed, "Are you a Christian?!" I told him I was and he began to ask me why, telling me that there were better things I could do with my life. After I learned that he was only joking, he told me his life story in about 45 minutes and I hung on every word. In the end, he told me to read Ecclesiastes. Through his tears, he said it would change my life. So, I read it.

Solomon writes this book near the end of his life. Most of the book has a rather negative tone and his two favorite phrases seem to be "Everything is meaningless" and "This is like chasing after the wind" (which is also meaningless). Every so often, Solomon says something to the effect of, "therefore, don't waste time. Enjoy life as much as you can."

In these little sections where he deviates from his negative tone, he tells the reader to enjoy life, take risks, be glad, and chase after the things of heaven.

Many verses in this book sort of hit me where I'm at now that I'm in my first career-related job. Here are a few..

So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot.
- Ecclesiates 3:22

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat, drink, and be glad.
- Ecclesiastes 8:15

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.
- Ecclesiastes 11:4

..Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgement. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless.
- Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Now, all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether is is good or evil.
- Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

It's clear that the thrust of Solomon's message is that life is not about anything except following your God-given desires. This book helped me to really grasp the picture of how we're to live. I can only do something with all my might (9:10) if I thoroughly enjoy what I do (3:22). This also means I will be happy and therefore, I need to make sure I'm following the desires of my heart (11:9).

Maybe it seems trivial, but I needed this moment of clarity for where I'm at in life. This mindset helps me make life decisions. It gives me a lense to look through. It's not realistic to think that a person will be happy all the time in the things they pursue. There may even be stretches of very unpleasant events. However, at the end of the day and at the end of my life, I'll be most satisfied if I sought after the good desires of my heart.

Emphasis on the GOOD. Solomon's conclusion is that we're to fear God and keep his commandments. I don't think we're to actually be afraid of him like we're afraid of monsters in the closet when we're young, but rather, revere him. Do what he says, not out of fear, but out of reverance for him. Dictionary.com describes revere as meaning "an attitude of deep respect tinged with awe." This is a great description of how to think of and interact with God.

I also think its worth mentioning that the last phrase in the book states that God will "bring every deed into judgement, whether it is good or evil." Contradiction? I think not. The desires of my heart are both good and bad. Solomon isn't telling me to follow EVERY desire of my heart. I know that there are things my heart desires that I should not persue. Solomon is telling me to follow the desires of my heart which also coincide with God's character.

Teaching.

Student teaching is an opportunity for exploration. It’s an opportunity for me to see if God wants me to teach. It’s an opportunity for me to see if I like it as much as I thought I would. I should embrace it. If I don’t embrace it, things will seem crappy. Attitude is sometimes one of the biggest determiners of how much something is enjoyed. Sometimes, in the course of student teaching, I know that I have a bad day because my attitude stinks. I won’t know if I really like teaching if I go into it with a bad attitude. A bad attitude can make a lot of things seem worse than they are. I’ve got to give myself a fair shot at teaching. Some days, an attitude adjustment will give me that fair shot.

Branching off of that – We were made to enjoy creation/life. God has given people the power to enjoy the sun, moon, stars, architecture, teaching, lazy Saturdays, accomplished tasks, and ultimately glorifying the God who loves us immeasurably. What is the key idea? God wants us to enjoy life. To an extent, God wants us to do what we love to do… because he created us the way we are. If I’m created to love art, why would I doom myself to a life of frustration by becoming a business man? I can glorify God in all that I do, so I might as well do what I enjoy.

Secondly, I think I’m more open to doing what God wants me to do if I’m doing what I enjoy. If I love art and I get to do art, then I’ll be happy and more open to seeking out opportunities to thank God for his goodness. If I’m a business man, I’ll spend my days soaked in misery. The last thing on my mind would be the furtherance of his kingdom. Seems counterintuitive (now) to think any other way.

the grand scheme

In the grand scheme, no one person can really change the world. In fact, no person can really make the right choices for any other person. At some point, we have to recognize that people make their own decisions. People can only be influenced so much.

In the grand scheme, God calls us to preach his gospel to everyone. BUT, never does he say to force people to make steps toward God. It is not written that rearing a child in the right way yields a adult who makes all the right choices. There is no proven formula that works across the board for people. Ultimately, people, make their own decisions.

I think, at some point, I need to realize that people don't make (what I perceive to be wrong) decisions because I did something wrong. I need to realize that the people in my life aren't rejecting me when they reject the gospel. If I say something biblical and someone rejects it, they don't reject me, they reject God. Everyone is born with a sinful nature - one that naturally rejects God. Overcoming this nature and following God wholeheartedly, in a sense, doesn't feel natural.

Look at children. Their natural tendency is to gratify themselves. I have a 22 month old niece who is the perfect example of this. She always yells, 'mine!' or picks up all of her toys when other children are around because she doesn't want them to play with them. We're naturally greedy. Sure, at some point, we learn that such behavior is not 'mature' or socially acceptable. BUT, we'd like to take everything for ourselves and leave nothing for others. Deep down, at our core, we're selfish beings.

This is a sticky topic in my mind. Who is to say that the advice I give is totally correct, sound advice? If I believe it is sound, biblical advice, and someone rejects it, then they're rejecting God, straight up. If it's not biblical, then they're rejecting me. But, since when does it matter to God if someone rejects me?

Point: Often times, it's not me that is being rejected - it's God.