I’ve been reading articles online about how more and more dads are unhappy with their work/life balance. It seems like around 65% feel that they work too much. In my opinion, it boils down to societal expectations and maybe more specifically, wanting to maintain a certain level of affluence (keeping up with the Jones’). To me, it makes more sense to be happy with my work/life balance and not have a new SUV, huge TV, newest smart phone, etc… Not that those things are inherently bad, just if they get in the way.
So, I propose that more dads (and moms for that matter) should consider working part time.
But what about health insurance and retirement plans? Don’t you want to have a house, go on trips, and send your kids to college?
Well, yes. But, I think there is more fat that can be trimmed in most people’s budgets than they realize. Our family has been doing this over the last year and has managed to trim a few hundred dollars and we’ve got plans to trim a few hundred more over the next year. Add all this up and we’re talking about several thousand dollars of savings. So, my answer to that is: Yes, we need health insurance and retirement plans, but at what cost? And who says the cost of paying for these things out of pocket isn’t worth the extra time I can spend with my family?
Maybe it won’t work for every family, maybe not even mine. But I also know I don’t want to look back in 20 years and realize that my kids and wife grew up disconnected from me the majority of the time. I think I’d kick myself if I didn’t give it a shot.
So, unlike most of my ideas (90% of which I don’t post and you should be thankful), I’d really love your feedback. So be anonymous, I don’t care. But please respond if you have thoughts!
Derek
I definitely agree. Eric is very unhappy with how little time he gets to spend with Lila, and always feels like he's missing out on her growing up. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to stay at home with her. I actually tried working part-time when she turned 2 months, but she was unhappy in daycare and I was unhappy at work. I wish we could find a way for our family to be more balanced, but I guess we sometimes just do what we feel like we need to, ya know?
ReplyDeleteHey, I hear ya. Kristen loves being home with our kids now. Hooray for you :) I'm not even sure if it'll be possible for us for the long haul, I'm just bent on giving it my best effort. Seems like a hugely worthwhile endeavor. I hope you guys can make some progress towards Eric being home as well. If I remember right, doesn't Eric have a pretty long commute to work??
DeleteI agree and I would like to share this story I came upon on the internet my last semester at UNI.
ReplyDeleteAn American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.
“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.
“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.
“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.
“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.
“But… What do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”
He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course, and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you could run your expanded enterprise with proper management.
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, senor, how long will all this take?”
To which the American replied, “15-20 years, 25 tops.”
“But what then, senor?”
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”
“Millions senor? Then what?”
“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll in to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
Leah! So good to hear from you! We still haven't forgotten how you helped us with our adoption and will always be greatful. Thanks again :) Loved that story. While it seems silly, lots of people's lives emulate this story. It's funny to me how often I hear if stories where people took this path and then were unsatisfied in their later years.
Delete:) I enjoy reading your blog! I actually read this story in a Jimmie Johns, and had a moment of clarity that I was not pursuing what I wanted to do with my life! I LOVE hearing that other people are putting doing something that they love ahead of a huge bank account and other stuff!
DeleteI so love how you view life. In today's society, its all about what you have. The meaning of life has become less and less visible. I had a customer that came into where i worked, and he was always filling up his daughter's cars or buying things for his wife or friends. I jokingly said many times that they were eating his paychecks up! He always said to me, "its just money." And while we shouldn't be recklessly spending our earnings, sometimes we need to take a step back and realize that there are more important things in life.
ReplyDelete