Everyone gives their life to something. Be it their spouse, family, job, a cause, or to God, everyone gives it to something or someone. One measurement of what people give their lives to, is where they spend their time.
There's definitely a time and place for Netflix, Hulu, Pinterest, texting, Facebook, Twitter and the like. I enjoy several of these things as much as the next person. However, the nights that I realize I've been scrolling through Twitter/Facebook feeds for half an hour straight make me feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel that if the vast majority of my time is not spent persuing the 3-5 things that I want to give my life to, then something is screwed up. Also, not doing this leaves me feeling like a waste of space.
So, without further ado, here are my top 3.
1. My relationship with God
2. My relationship with my family/friends
3. My job satisfaction/providing adequate income
Now, I'd say that most of the time, the time spent in each of the categories is in the reverse order of how they're listed. But, they're not. So, I've got some work to do. However, I'm getting there. I've made a major change in my life in the last week. The thing that requires most of my time and most of my energy is going to change.
I'm switching jobs.
I'm keenly aware of the fact that working at East drains me of most of my physical and mental engery, not to mention my time. To be honest, I love the kids. I love the staff. The thing I don't love is educational policy/politics. I will look for another teaching job. I guess I should give another school/district a shot before I hang it up for good. Who knows, maybe It'll be different.
The thing that I'll never get away from in a typical job is the amount of time I spend maintaining it. I will always view it as number 3 on the list, yet it will almost always claim the number 1 spot. So, my wife and I are slowly adopting a different lifestyle.
We're lowering our budget and restructuring our lives to make it possible for our jobs to be less and our families/relationships with God to be more.
We've decided that if Kristen opens an in home day care, we can make progress towards this goal. So, Kristen has decided to do this and she's quite excited about it. I've got a summer gig lined up and who knows what'll happen after that. It doesn't matter. What will matter in ten or twenty years will be how I used the time I was given.
So, in summary, everyone gives their lives to someone or something. Is the thing that you're giving your life to worth it?
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
The cycle of poverty
A fellow math teacher teaches in my room during my planning period. Today, she was talking about health insurance premiums and the kids were all going crazy about expensive it is. Then, several kids said, "I'll just stay on my title 19!" Yet another reason why kids/adults in poverty find it difficult to get out of poverty.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Coffee Shop Wisdom
So, I had an idea today. Often times, I have ideas that I'd love to get down on paper or blog about. These ideas go about as quickly as they come and I usually think, "Crap, what was that thing I was thinking the other day..." So, I thought that if I recorded my idea and then posted it on my blog, I'd be able to access it later and others could hear my thoughts and comment if they felt led.
Like a lot of my ideas, they only last for a short time. I may do this once a year, once a month, once a week, or never again. Regardless, here's the recording of a mental connection that I made today after visiting with a lady at a coffee shop.
Thoughts?
Tiny House or Bust
Lately, I've been obsessed. I've realized that a lot of my current desires stem from one thing: the lack of freedom I have.
Now, I don't mean that my wife never lets me leave the house or that my kids tie me down. Mostly, its exactly the opposite.
I have two kids that I've known for only 5 months and their daycare lady sees them more than I do. I have a job that I like about half the time and during some stretches, sort of consumes my life. I have a mortgage, student loans, and a truckload of other bills that are a direct result of the lifestyle I've lived and the decisions I've made (not that any of these are bad in and of themselves).
There are things that I want to do, other than what I do on a day to day basis now. I'd love to coach, teach some adjunct classes at Hawkeye, volunteer more within church ministries and other non-profits. I'd love to be part of my kids' early morning routine instead of only their bedtime routine. I'd love to meet friends for lunch and pour myself into God and into other meaningful relationships.
Instead, I find that I'm mostly spread (thin) between about... 200 people in a given week, half of which, are my students. I find myself thinking of doing other jobs only to come back to the realization that my current job is the probably the only job that supports my family's lifestyle adequately.
And then, I realized something
My lifestyle is less important to me than all of those other things that I'd love to do. So, why do I have a mortgage, a so-so 40 hour a week job, and lack of time for my most meaningful relationships?
I was too afraid to question the norms.
But now that I am questioning them, I've come to something of a conclusion: I would drastically change my lifestyle to accomodate more time with my kids, volunteering, coaching, etc... So, how do I do that?
Well, changing my lifestyle would start with getting rid of the things that keep me from doing the things I want to do. It all boils down to one thing. Money. Right now, my life requires too much of it. My biggest expenses are: My house, our student loans, and daycare. Now, none of these things are bad, but those three things consume about 70% of our monthly budget.
Lifestyle changes happen only when people question the norms. For me, this means thinking about where I spend the most resources and evaluating whether they reflect what I value.
This is where I got crazy addicted to the idea of the "tiny house." These are small houses that people live in that are exceptionally efficient and modern, but super small. The ones I was particularly interested in are built on trailers, therefore ridding the owner of a mortgage, home insurance, property taxes, and a slew of other costs associated with home ownership. All in all, our costs per month would go down by about a third if we lived in a tiny house.
Now, I've got a wife, two kids, and a dog. The tiny thing just probably isn't going to work for us. Besides, Kristen isn't too crazy about it anyway (I believe 'freak' was the the term she used to describe me during that conversation).
Nevertheless, the idea of downsizing substantially to reduce our monthly costs is very appealing. Another thing that we've had a fair amount of luck with is renting our basement. We've been fairly fortunate to have good friends who've needed temporary housing that were glad to use that space. So, a tiny house is not the only way to substantially reduce our monthly budget, nor is it a 'fix all' solution, its just one that looked particularly appealing to me.
Now, I don't mean that my wife never lets me leave the house or that my kids tie me down. Mostly, its exactly the opposite.
I have two kids that I've known for only 5 months and their daycare lady sees them more than I do. I have a job that I like about half the time and during some stretches, sort of consumes my life. I have a mortgage, student loans, and a truckload of other bills that are a direct result of the lifestyle I've lived and the decisions I've made (not that any of these are bad in and of themselves).
There are things that I want to do, other than what I do on a day to day basis now. I'd love to coach, teach some adjunct classes at Hawkeye, volunteer more within church ministries and other non-profits. I'd love to be part of my kids' early morning routine instead of only their bedtime routine. I'd love to meet friends for lunch and pour myself into God and into other meaningful relationships.
Instead, I find that I'm mostly spread (thin) between about... 200 people in a given week, half of which, are my students. I find myself thinking of doing other jobs only to come back to the realization that my current job is the probably the only job that supports my family's lifestyle adequately.
And then, I realized something
My lifestyle is less important to me than all of those other things that I'd love to do. So, why do I have a mortgage, a so-so 40 hour a week job, and lack of time for my most meaningful relationships?
I was too afraid to question the norms.
But now that I am questioning them, I've come to something of a conclusion: I would drastically change my lifestyle to accomodate more time with my kids, volunteering, coaching, etc... So, how do I do that?
Well, changing my lifestyle would start with getting rid of the things that keep me from doing the things I want to do. It all boils down to one thing. Money. Right now, my life requires too much of it. My biggest expenses are: My house, our student loans, and daycare. Now, none of these things are bad, but those three things consume about 70% of our monthly budget.
Lifestyle changes happen only when people question the norms. For me, this means thinking about where I spend the most resources and evaluating whether they reflect what I value.
This is where I got crazy addicted to the idea of the "tiny house." These are small houses that people live in that are exceptionally efficient and modern, but super small. The ones I was particularly interested in are built on trailers, therefore ridding the owner of a mortgage, home insurance, property taxes, and a slew of other costs associated with home ownership. All in all, our costs per month would go down by about a third if we lived in a tiny house.
Now, I've got a wife, two kids, and a dog. The tiny thing just probably isn't going to work for us. Besides, Kristen isn't too crazy about it anyway (I believe 'freak' was the the term she used to describe me during that conversation).
Nevertheless, the idea of downsizing substantially to reduce our monthly costs is very appealing. Another thing that we've had a fair amount of luck with is renting our basement. We've been fairly fortunate to have good friends who've needed temporary housing that were glad to use that space. So, a tiny house is not the only way to substantially reduce our monthly budget, nor is it a 'fix all' solution, its just one that looked particularly appealing to me.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Refining.
Bless our God, O peoples, And sound His praise abroad, Who keeps us in life And does not allow our feet to slip. For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins. You made men ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water, Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance. (Psalms 66:8-12 NASB)
This has been one of my favorite passages for a long time - mostly because I often fall into the bad habit of not spending time with God until I'm at a point of desperation.
Silver is refined by completely melting it, removing its impurities, and letting it harden again. The passage also states that oppressive burdens are laid on us - to refine us. Lastly, he brings us to a place of abundance. He restores us. He wants us to be happy, healthy, successful, etc...
Right now is one of those times for me. I need to remember that being refined is not fun, but I'd rather not look back on my life and feel that it was wasted because I was always in a place of comfort, either.
Press on. Lean into God. Know that he wants what's best for me too.
This has been one of my favorite passages for a long time - mostly because I often fall into the bad habit of not spending time with God until I'm at a point of desperation.
Silver is refined by completely melting it, removing its impurities, and letting it harden again. The passage also states that oppressive burdens are laid on us - to refine us. Lastly, he brings us to a place of abundance. He restores us. He wants us to be happy, healthy, successful, etc...
Right now is one of those times for me. I need to remember that being refined is not fun, but I'd rather not look back on my life and feel that it was wasted because I was always in a place of comfort, either.
Press on. Lean into God. Know that he wants what's best for me too.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Church: Big or Small?
Are churches more effective as multiple smaller units or as fewer, larger congregations? Or, does each several a unique purpose?
I've been attending the church I'm currently attending for 4 (ish) yers now. Sometimes, I'm frustrated because I'll walk all the way from the parking lot to my seat in the gym (where services are held) and not know anyone's name. I have been involved in college ministry, high school ministry, and band at some point during the last four years, so, it seems like this should be impossible. While its better all the time, something just feels odd about it.
Thriving churches have people with healthy relationships. What I've found, is, the larger the community I'm a part of, the harder it is to feel really connected to people. Its much easier to have lots of shallow relationships than it is to have fewer, deeper, more meaningful ones. It's my preference and belief that more is done for the kingdom of God through deeper relationships. In my experience, nothing of eternal value is accomplished when I'm hanging out with people that I don't have deep relationships with.
On the flip side of all that, maybe bigger churches have their place. I emailed the vision leader for the church that I'm a part of about this issue. He agrees that larger churches often have a harder time getting people connected. However, he also told me that our church helped out dozens of other, smaller churches in some way over the last year. What an impact! Also, its not that deep relationships can't happen in a big church, they just often take more initiative than those of a smaller church.
So, as of now, I'd say that its pretty hard to say that the best church size is ____. No church is perfect and if someone claims theirs is, they're not thinking hard enough or aren't telling you somthing.
I've been attending the church I'm currently attending for 4 (ish) yers now. Sometimes, I'm frustrated because I'll walk all the way from the parking lot to my seat in the gym (where services are held) and not know anyone's name. I have been involved in college ministry, high school ministry, and band at some point during the last four years, so, it seems like this should be impossible. While its better all the time, something just feels odd about it.
Thriving churches have people with healthy relationships. What I've found, is, the larger the community I'm a part of, the harder it is to feel really connected to people. Its much easier to have lots of shallow relationships than it is to have fewer, deeper, more meaningful ones. It's my preference and belief that more is done for the kingdom of God through deeper relationships. In my experience, nothing of eternal value is accomplished when I'm hanging out with people that I don't have deep relationships with.
On the flip side of all that, maybe bigger churches have their place. I emailed the vision leader for the church that I'm a part of about this issue. He agrees that larger churches often have a harder time getting people connected. However, he also told me that our church helped out dozens of other, smaller churches in some way over the last year. What an impact! Also, its not that deep relationships can't happen in a big church, they just often take more initiative than those of a smaller church.
So, as of now, I'd say that its pretty hard to say that the best church size is ____. No church is perfect and if someone claims theirs is, they're not thinking hard enough or aren't telling you somthing.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Yep, we're still here!
It's been awhile since I've written, but we're still here and kicking. The transition back into Iowa life for our new family has been exceptional. We've had so much help from family and friends that, looking back, I'm not sure how would we would have done it without them. The kids have done marvelously as well. They're very excited about all the new things they gotten to experience. They embrace new people, experiences, and weather (haha) with open arms and zipped up coats ;)
When we got back to the states, the first few weeks were essentially saved by my parents, Kristen's parents, and sister/brother in law. We had some financial help and A TON of babysitting help from them. Between them all, they did all the daycare between November 5th and Thanksgiving. This was a huge help. "Thanks" isn't even close to the payment they deserve for helping us out!
We'd been home for 24 hours when we decided to take the kids outside to play for the first time. We bundled them up and took them out. Ironically (or maybe through God's orchestration?), after a few minutes, some vaguely familar faces drove by. They pulled over and got out. It was a mother and daughter who have also adopted and we'd met them at a garage sale last summer. Through this random meeting, we found out that their daughter (Annie) was moving in 4 houses down from us. Also, she was planning to open an in-home daycare! Also, randomly enough, I'd tutored her in Geometry when she was in high school while I was attending UNI. So, not only does Annie have experience with adopted children, but she lives 4 doors down. The kids talk about "Annie's house" all the time. I'm starting to think that I've slipped from being #2 (behind Kristen, of course) to being #3 in the kids' eyes!
The kids have even taken to the cold weather and snow quite well (I know it's been mild so far, but in Africa, it never got below 55 degrees). They've been sledding and played in it quite a bit. Christmas was also a joyful time. In general, the kids have taken in all the new experience, places, and people exceptionally well. They love all the attention they get from family and friends.
On December 26th, we also got to officially adopt them in Iowa! On the way to the court house, I remember feeling like, "Oh, crap. Here we go again." Our experiences in Uganda made me feel like something would go wrong for sure. However, all of our family was there, the judge and lawyers were all in good moods, and we were in and out in about an hour (waiting room and all)! This was such a nice Christmas present :) Its now official!! Another huge reason why this is important is because we can now apply for the adoption tax credit on our income taxes this year! This should help pay off some of the loans we've incurred because of the adoption.
We've been blessed, to say the least.
Looking at the ground we've covered since we flew out on August 20th, it seems crazy. We've got a 4 year old and a 3 year old that act as if they've been brother and sister since birth. We've also got a house that looks like a tornado hit it eveyday. But, its all worth it :)
The only real headache we've had since landing in Iowa is getting the kid's health insurance nailed down. Its nearly done, but its made us quite nervous, especially since they both ALWAYS have runny noses and Viola has had a cough for several weeks now. Other than that, I'm not sure there's anything I could complain about.
Thank you all for all your support and prayer! I may have slit my wrists the long way if not for you ;)
Oh, and the kids love visitors, so if you haven't stopped by yet, please do!
Derek, Kristen, Viola, and Gideon
When we got back to the states, the first few weeks were essentially saved by my parents, Kristen's parents, and sister/brother in law. We had some financial help and A TON of babysitting help from them. Between them all, they did all the daycare between November 5th and Thanksgiving. This was a huge help. "Thanks" isn't even close to the payment they deserve for helping us out!
We'd been home for 24 hours when we decided to take the kids outside to play for the first time. We bundled them up and took them out. Ironically (or maybe through God's orchestration?), after a few minutes, some vaguely familar faces drove by. They pulled over and got out. It was a mother and daughter who have also adopted and we'd met them at a garage sale last summer. Through this random meeting, we found out that their daughter (Annie) was moving in 4 houses down from us. Also, she was planning to open an in-home daycare! Also, randomly enough, I'd tutored her in Geometry when she was in high school while I was attending UNI. So, not only does Annie have experience with adopted children, but she lives 4 doors down. The kids talk about "Annie's house" all the time. I'm starting to think that I've slipped from being #2 (behind Kristen, of course) to being #3 in the kids' eyes!
The kids have even taken to the cold weather and snow quite well (I know it's been mild so far, but in Africa, it never got below 55 degrees). They've been sledding and played in it quite a bit. Christmas was also a joyful time. In general, the kids have taken in all the new experience, places, and people exceptionally well. They love all the attention they get from family and friends.
On December 26th, we also got to officially adopt them in Iowa! On the way to the court house, I remember feeling like, "Oh, crap. Here we go again." Our experiences in Uganda made me feel like something would go wrong for sure. However, all of our family was there, the judge and lawyers were all in good moods, and we were in and out in about an hour (waiting room and all)! This was such a nice Christmas present :) Its now official!! Another huge reason why this is important is because we can now apply for the adoption tax credit on our income taxes this year! This should help pay off some of the loans we've incurred because of the adoption.
We've been blessed, to say the least.
Looking at the ground we've covered since we flew out on August 20th, it seems crazy. We've got a 4 year old and a 3 year old that act as if they've been brother and sister since birth. We've also got a house that looks like a tornado hit it eveyday. But, its all worth it :)
The only real headache we've had since landing in Iowa is getting the kid's health insurance nailed down. Its nearly done, but its made us quite nervous, especially since they both ALWAYS have runny noses and Viola has had a cough for several weeks now. Other than that, I'm not sure there's anything I could complain about.
Thank you all for all your support and prayer! I may have slit my wrists the long way if not for you ;)
Oh, and the kids love visitors, so if you haven't stopped by yet, please do!
Derek, Kristen, Viola, and Gideon
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