The magnitude of Christ's death.

I've recently grasped the idea that it is extremely difficult for me to really enter into and appreciate Christ's death. This is an event that I've heard about so many times that it has become just another mundane fact of Christianity. Jesus died the most horrible death imagineable. For me. It is stated as if it is a mathematical fact. No expression, no enthusiasm, no gratefulness, nothing.

It's hard to remember that this "fact" is what all of Christianity is centered around. It's hard to understand the magnitude of Jesus' decision to die for humanity. It's hard to remember that God had to turn his back on Jesus as he took on the sin of the entire world while spikes were being driven through his feet and hands. It's hard to fathom someone with the capacity to love everyone so much that he could die this cruel death. It's so far beyond my perception. However, I think there is value in entering into this with the best of my ability.

Jesus spent his life knowing how and when he would die. He knew it could be no other way. He knew his own father would turn his back on him. He knew people would hate him and that his closest earthly friends would deny him. He knew everything this event would entail. He had plenty of time to agonize over it. Plenty of time to change his mind. At any point he could have returned to heaven. It's not like he would have had to wriggle his way out of it. He was not locked into it. It was entirely his choice.

If a friend were to buy a new car and give it to me, I would be forever grateful. I would make sure that friend knew how much I appreciated his gift. I would probably even sacrifice parts of my life to make him feel appreciated. Yet, for the greatest gift of all, I often return nothing to the giver.

I think this is a key growing point in my walk with Christ. I can never fully appreciate what he did for me, but I can try. I can attempt to put myself in that situation to try to fathom just a little bit of what it may have been like to be in that spot. I think my becoming more aware of this will strengthen my appreciation for what he did for me.