Noisy Gongs and Clanging Symbols

I can teach amazing words, but if there is no love, it's worthless


1 Corinthians 13:1, 3

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

This is one of the passages that I've come across lately that reminds me to practice patience with my students, family, and really everyone; but especially my students. My students test me day in and day out. Sometimes it seems that I can hardly keep myself together and there are many days that I fail multiple times a day. The sad part is, I'm completely aware I'm failing while I'm failing. Patience is not natural for me. 

Especially undeserved patience. Students who are lazy, unprepared, and unorganized are the most likely to tick me off. Some days, I'm ready to freak out. When I have to let the same student go get his/her book for the 25th time (no joke) or I have to give out another pencil, sign another pass to the bathroom, repeat the formula for the area of a rectangle, reiterate my directions...I'm usually steaming. 

Some days go this way (like today) and I don't know how I even make it through. Then, some days, the students are better and everything seems to flow a bit smoother. BUT, the really interesting days are when I humble myself enough to realize that God repeats, reiterates, and redirects me as well. On these days, when I humble myself, I pray for patience, energy, and enthusiasm. On these days, God shows up and I just feel... better. 

Then it hit me when I read 1 Corinthians 13. I have to have patience and love with my kids if I ever hope to give them anything more than a set of mathematical skills (which I do). If I don't have love for my kids, I don't stand a chance of being more to them than just a teacher. And frankly, I don't really care about the education near as much as the opportunity to speak truth - or even better - to show them truth. 

This was a bit of an light bulb moment for me. Its still a struggle, almost daily; but its a necessary struggle if I ever hope to be used by God in school. 

This week's math lesson..

I had a conversation with a friend of mine today that brought up something that I learned a few years ago. We were talking about how its easy to feel like those in ministry are better servants of God because they speak to dozens (sometimes hundreds) of people about Jesus every week. In that light, its easy to believe that my being a teacher will never be on par with being a pastor/ministry leader.

Then, I'm reminded of how Jesus spoke to the masses. He definitely did so, but I think his main ministry was to 12 particular guys. He poured himself into them and those 12 ministered to a few more who ministered to a few more who ministered..... Get the idea?

I heard a professor at Moody Bible Institute explain it in a way that my brain really latched onto. Mostly because it dealt with math, I think. He said that while its easy to feel like those on stage are doing a better job, sometimes, the numbers prove otherwise. Consider the following scenario...

A pastor preaches to a church of 1,000 people every Sunday. Its not possible for this pastor to personally minister to 1,000 people. He can teach them but he can't really have a deep, committed relationship with them. Because of this, its often the case that many of these people do not have a faith that goes beyond the walls of the church. A large percentage of these people are not producing disciples.

On the other hand, take a person who decides to invest heavily in 3 people. Let's say that after 2 years of investing in these 3 people, that they turned around and invest in 3 more. Two years later, all of the previous disciples disciple 3 more. If this pattern continues, 3 more people per period of 2 years become disciples of Christ who create more disciples of Christ (slightly confusing?).

For those of you who hate math, maybe just skip the next paragraph. 

This is an exponential effect. 4^x power, where x = each 2 year period displays the current number of disciple-producing disciples. After 10 years, 1 person's commitment to 3 people has (theoretically) produced 1,028 fully devoted followers of Christ.

1 ----> 4 ---->16 -----> 64 -----> 256 -----> 1,028.

Now, clearly there are other variables involved. Some people won't choose to keep living for Christ. But, the principle is still the same.

1 person's commitment of discipleship can have an exponential effect for the kingdom of God.


I don't think Jesus is running the numbers. I don't think God really cares if our efforts produced 10 more followers or 10,000 more. I think God is much more concerned about our efforts than he his about the fruit of our efforts.

However as a model for ministry, I think this is the route more churches should go. I'm not saying that we should do away with massive Sunday morning teaching and worship, but maybe we should take seriously the  affects of small, intimate communities of Christians.

Just some thoughts. What do you think? Seriously, you should respond below. Just click anonymous if you'd rather not be named!

Blindsided

Here's the latest. We got a call today regarding our adoption. It was decided that it would not be possible for us to continue to persue adopting Faith and Stecia. A number of things played into this decision:

1. Our age. While we technically meet the qualifications for the program, we are quite young.
2. The girls aren't babies. Basically, the age gap between us is causing some concern with the court system.
3. We're first time parents. Self explanatory.
4. The girls have some family around. So, depending n your definition of 'orphan,' they aren't technically orphans.

All of this put together raised concers for the social worker in Uganda that had to approve our adoption before it went to court. She feels that a judge would decide that the girls would be better off in Uganda. Those who are on the ground in Uganda that work for About a Child have done everything they can to convince the social worker that Kristen and I are fit to be parents. Their requests were eventually denied.

While this feels like a kick in the gut and Kristen and I were both pretty deflated at first, we're optimistic. This particular social worker has agreed to work with us and About a Child to find another orphaned child for us. The social worker works for an Orphanage in Uganda and is very good at what she does. If nothing else, this new relationship (with the social worker) will hopefully be an avenue for more adoptions to take place (for us and other couples around the U.S.).

Also, since we already have the necessary paperwork in place, our process for adopting a different child should go quickly (relatively speaking). Lastly, About a Child has a policy which states that if a referral falls through, the adoptive parents don't lose any money that they've paid to the agency! This is a huge sigh of relief as we've sent thousands of dollars already.

Accepting the fact that we will never be parents to Faith and Stecia is hard and will take some time. However, Kristen brought up a good point soon after we got the news. She said, " What if we needed to be this far along in the adoption process in order to adopt the child that God really has in mind for us?"

Maybe? We're unsure at this point. However, we do know that God is up to something. There are too many things that are happening for it to be anything else. We're absolutely confident that he has plans for us and this was just a necessary piece in the story. We're looking forward to the next step in this whole process and we're excited about it.

God doesn't call his people to lives of ease. A life of ease is hardly synonymous with a life of fulfillment.

Your prayers and encouragement are appreciated!

Derek and Kristen