Following Passions

These days, I'm noticing that I'm quite driven. I've got several goals that I'm working towards and that our family is working towards. They play a huge part in my life and a lot of what I do revolves around those goals. I'm excited because I can see noticeable progress towards those goals and others can too. I also notice how fulfilled I feel, knowing that the activities I engage in are meaningful, life enhancing, activities.

This got me thinking about how its so easy to passively float through life. We watch hours of football, play hours of call of duty, or spend hours shopping online. While none of these is naturally bad, a lot of it is. We're such a consumer society and so used to being entertained, that we've been tricked into believing that ultimate entertainment is the best thing in life. Yet, obviously, its not.

I'm finding that the more I pursue my passions, the more fulfilled I am. And, while my passions center (sort of) around Jesus and his Kingdom, I think this would be true for any person. In my opinion, we were made to follow our passions. I'm wired to be a problem solver and deep(ish) thinker. So, naturally, I gravitate towards fixing motorcycles, aspiring to build a tiny house, and building non-surface level relationships. These give me so much life. For me not to do these things would be such a waste.

I'm not sure I can fully articulate why I feel so strongly that more people should follow their passions more than they do, but I just do. Its strikes a tremendous chord in my these days.

What are your thoughts?

Guest Post - Living Simply

A week or so ago, a good friend of mine asked me to write a guest post for her blog. Her theme is entitled "Living the Kingdom at Home" and I decided to write about living simply. She's an editor and so my words sound a lot better when she edits them. The edited post is below. Her blog (which is awesome) is http://manysparrows.me/

____________________

People say money drives everything. But maybe more accurately, it’s our massive addiction to stuff that drives everything.

In the 1950s, the average home size was 983 square feet.

In 2007, the average home size was 2,349 square feet.

And average family sizes have dwindled.

Advertising and marketing is an extremely lucrative industry. We’ve been convinced that we need things to fit in — things that people in the ’50s never dreamed of. Stuff is more accessible than it ever has been. Smart phones and laptops make it impossible not to know the latest fashions, electronics, and trends. The accumulation of toys, furniture, appliances, electronics, vehicles, etc… has grown substantially in the last 50 years.

Anyway, I don’t really want to convince you that society is addicted to the accumulation of stuff. I’d rather point to Jesus and share my experience in recognizing and managing our addictions to stuff in my own family.

As I think about the life of Jesus, I realize that while he didn’t have access to an iPhone, he must’ve lived simply. He traveled, on foot, for much of his life from 30 to his crucifixion at 33. He worked as a carpenter and lived to carry out his passion with the rest of his time. He probably carried a change of clothes and maybe a few carpentry tools. He told the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give it to the poor. He basically regarded material things as not having much value. I have to believe that if Jesus were alive today, he’d live very much the same way.

About 3 years ago, my wife and I moved into a house. As recent college grads, we did what everyone else does — worked big boy and big girl jobs. Being a math teacher, I immediately became alarmed with the amount of money it took for us to meet our monthly budget. I began to ask myself how we’d ever have kids when we had very little extra money. So, we started identifying ways that we could trim. And, I can happily say that 3 years and 2 kids later, we’re living on less than we did then.

What’s the difference?

The difference for us: We’re using a more Kingdom-minded approach to our home. Remember how I said that Jesus lived to carry out his passion? It looks different for everyone, but for us, it has involved adopting our two kids and building relationships with our neighbors/college community.

• We adopted our two kids from Uganda about a year ago. This took a lot of financial sacrifice and a whole lot of leaning on others for support. But, this is one of our passions and God doesn’t give us passions not to have us follow them. (That would just be mean, right?)
• Secondly, our front door may as well be a revolving door. Our kids have their neighbor friends over a lot and we host a weekly meal for college students and young adults in our area. We also have random people over during the week and a college student lives in our basement. To do this, we had to simplify our space in our house (to accommodate/have a college student live with us) and simplify our budget (to afford our relationally driven life-style).

While I’m not saying that you should adopt a child (although you should), I do think God gives us all unique passions and abilities. I also believe the biggest hindrances to using those passions and abilities is societal pressure. Pressure to have everything that the media and world tell us we need to have.

Your stuff is a means to accomplishing Kingdom results. (I know the Jones’ have a 2013 Escalade, but maybe you could settle for a 2005 minivan and afford to get involved with something you’re passionate about.)

Hebrews 12:1 says “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Our stuff can be a hindrance. Once we figure out which things hinder us, are we able to “throw those things off (away)?” In my experience, it’s a difficult thing to start, but once you do, it gets easier and feels better. A lot of the time, I miss the SUV that I used to have. But, I obsess much less over the minivan that we have now. It works better for our family and helps us accomplish Kingdom results better than the SUV did.

When we use a Kingdom lens, the things that matter and the things that don’t become much clearer.

So, here’s the action step: What are the things in your home (or budget) that hinder you from doing Kingdom work?

Mediocrity: the enemy of growth.

Mediocrity is the enemy of growth and fulfillment, yet everyone seems to be pursuing it.

We (including me) are so scared to do anything outside the status quo, that we go on doing the things we complain about and don't really like doing. We work our jobs we sort of like, we attend family and church functions with people we don't really know, we buy expensive houses and cars just maintain and obsess over them. Basically, we spend our whole lives trying to fill a hole within ourselves with nothing that will actually fill it.

If we're all asked to take a survey, most would respond that money is not the key to happiness. It would show that our top priorities do not include our jobs and we're not attached to the bigger physical items we own. But, then we obsess over how much money we make, complain about our jobs (yet spend the majority of our time there), and spend our weekends cleaning houses and waxing our cars.

We say "Oh, that's too bad that that person has cancer" or "those orphans in Africa sure have it rough." We silently judge those who are poor, have broken families, no college education, and live on that side of town.

The majority of folks I know are professing christians and the majority of people I know rarely do anything beyond give a little money to the church they attend. There is physical, emotional, and spiritual poverty everywhere and I don't think we believe Jesus when he talks about helping 'the least of these.' We pass our silent judgement and we're on our way - back to our comfort zones. We focus on Iowa football, who we're partying with this weekend, laying low and grinding our way through the work week. We have the thing in our lives that we should be most passionate about - Jesus. Yet, we just aren't.

I know it starts with me - the only person I can do anything about. And that's half my frustration, I am the person that I complain about. But sometimes, I can't help but vent about the rest of us. 

Jesus doesn't live in a closet.

This guy preached a couple of Sundays ago and said something that I thought was rather significant.

He was talking about resting in the Love and Grace that God extends to us. Then he said, "God does not sit around, thinking about my sin. So, as a result, but not a goal, I find myself sinning less."

It makes sense to me this way. I usually try to pull myself up by my bootstraps and do everything myself, including be a 'good' christian. In doing this, I find myself constantly frustrated because I can never measure up to where I feel like I should be.

Instead, God wants us to bask in his love and grace. When we really start to get a grip on how much God loves us and how much grace he extends to us, everyday, I think we start emulating Jesus. We start reaching out to people, asking for direction from the Holy Spirit, and thanking Jesus for making such a huge sacrifice for us. Essentially, we start focusing on God and Jesus' work on the cross and stop focusing on ourselves (and our own shortcomings).

We stop practicing closet christianity because how could we keep such amazing, life-changing news all wrapped up inside of us? We don't love our neighbors and love God because we feel like we have to. Heck, we don't even love our neighbors and love God because we want to. We love our neighbors and we love God because true understanding of his grace and love is so moving that we literally cannot have any other response.

So, STOP TRYING TO BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN and just focus on God's love and God's grace. That's all he ever wants us to do.

crazy people, part 1.

Matthew 1-4 documents Jesus' birth to the beginning of his ministry. I've read it before, but these days, there are a lot of "crazy" things going on around me. I began to notice a theme I hadn't noticed before...

Everyone worth mentioning was, by my standards, completely crazy.

     1. Mary gets pregnant by the Holy Spirit.
     2. Joseph does not leave her because ... he had a dream/vision.
     3. He marries her anyway and Jesus is born.
     4. The Magi don't return to tell King Herod (a ruthless man) where Jesus is because ... of a dream.
     5. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus leave and go to Egypt because ... of a dream.
     6. Herod slaughters all boys in Bethlehem 2 years old or younger.
     7. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus move back to Israel because ... of a dream.
     8. John the Baptist, probably a crazy, homeless man, proclaims Jesus and baptizes him.
     9. Peter and Andrew drop their entire lives and follow a guy telling them crazy things.
    10. James and John drop their entire lives and follow a guy telling them crazy things.

So, here is a possible outline for Matthew's account of the first thirty years of Jesus' life:

     - God entrusts his only son to a set of parents who are open to getting direction through dreams.
     - God prepares the way for Jesus using someone who seemed like a homeless man.
     - Jesus enlists the help of uneducated men who were willing to leave their jobs and follow him.

It occurs to me that all through the bible, the crazy ones were the ones worth mentioning. These were the people who could be described using words like "faithful" and "righteous." The Pharisees were keepers of the law, much like many christians then and today. They weren't bad people. In fact, they were pretty good people.

Being a "keeper of the law" is a category I most often fall into. I'm a good, responsible person. I love my kids and wife, I go to and give money to the church, and the list goes on. However, I'm not being called crazy for doing these things. While I'm not saying God doesn't call some people to do non-crazy things, I am saying that too many of us are "keepers of the law." It stands out to me that the people the bible chooses to talk about are the crazy people.

Clearly, God creates people to both little and big things. A person who doesn't get mentioned in the bible is not necessarily doing anything wrong. Likewise, a person who does get mentioned in the bible isn't necessarily doing everything right.

However, I do think God wants us all to grow and the only way to grow, is to be spiritually stretched. Those that continually allow themselves to be spiritually stretched are the biggest difference makers in the kingdom of God.

So, while being crazy isn't mandatory, it sure makes me stop and think whether I'm fully sold out for Jesus, or if I'm just trying to live a comfortable, moderately devoted christian life.

Manufactured Homes

Why don't more people live in manufactured homes (mobile homes)?

Maybe in other parts of the country, people do. Some of the research I've done seems to indicate that there are places where many people live in them. However, around here, they seem to have a negative stigma. And, I'll admit, the ones I've driven past aren't kept up too well. However, there are pockets of manufactured houses that are quite nice; much nicer than the house I currently live in. Manufactured homes are often a fraction of the price of a conventional house and can offer many of the same things a house can.

They don't hold their value, they are poorly constructed, you don't own the lot. These seem to be the top reasons for not owning a manufactured home (other than the negative stigma issue). If a family were intending to buy something to live in for the long haul, I would think they could find a quality made one. Also, since the mortgage would be paid off much sooner, the overall cost of owning one would be much less than that of a house (little or no property tax as well).

So, am I missing something here?

Derek

Working part time as an adult

I’ve been reading articles online about how more and more dads are unhappy with their work/life balance. It seems like around 65% feel that they work too much. In my opinion, it boils down to societal expectations and maybe more specifically, wanting to maintain a certain level of affluence (keeping up with the Jones’).  To me, it makes more sense to be happy with my work/life balance and not have a new SUV, huge TV, newest smart phone, etc… Not that those things are inherently bad, just if they get in the way.

So, I propose that more dads (and moms for that matter) should consider working part time.

But what about health insurance and retirement plans? Don’t you want to have a house, go on trips, and send your kids to college?

Well, yes. But, I think there is more fat that can be trimmed in most people’s budgets than they realize. Our family has been doing this over the last year and has managed to trim a few hundred dollars and we’ve got plans to trim a few hundred more over the next year. Add all this up and we’re talking about several thousand dollars of savings. So, my answer to that is: Yes, we need health insurance and retirement plans, but at what cost? And who says the cost of paying for these things out of pocket isn’t worth the extra time I can spend with my family?

Maybe it won’t work for every family, maybe not even mine. But I also know I don’t want to look back in 20 years and realize that my kids and wife grew up disconnected from me the majority of the time. I think I’d kick myself if I didn’t give it a shot.

So, unlike most of my ideas (90% of which I don’t post and you should be thankful), I’d really love your feedback. So be anonymous, I don’t care. But please respond if you have thoughts!

Derek

What do you give your life to?

Everyone gives their life to something. Be it their spouse, family,  job, a cause, or to God, everyone gives it to something or someone. One measurement of what people give their lives to, is where they spend their time.

There's definitely a time and place for Netflix, Hulu, Pinterest, texting, Facebook, Twitter and the like. I enjoy several of these things as much as the next person. However, the nights that I realize I've been scrolling through Twitter/Facebook feeds for half an hour straight make me feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel that if the vast majority of my time is not spent persuing the 3-5 things that I want to give my life to, then something is screwed up. Also, not doing this leaves me feeling like a waste of space.

So, without further ado, here are my top 3.

1. My relationship with God
2. My relationship with my family/friends
3. My job satisfaction/providing adequate income

Now, I'd say that most of the time, the time spent in each of the categories is in the reverse order of how they're listed. But, they're not. So, I've got some work to do. However, I'm getting there. I've made a major change in my life in the last week. The thing that requires most of my time and most of my energy is going to change.

I'm switching jobs.

I'm keenly aware of the fact that working at East drains me of most of my physical and mental engery, not to mention my time. To be honest, I love the kids. I love the staff. The thing I don't love is educational policy/politics. I will look for another teaching job. I guess I should give another school/district a shot before I hang it up for good. Who knows, maybe It'll be different.

The thing that I'll never get away from in a typical job is the amount of time I spend maintaining it. I will always view it as number 3 on the list, yet it will almost always claim the number 1 spot. So, my wife and I are slowly adopting a different lifestyle.

We're lowering our budget and restructuring our lives to make it possible for our jobs to be less and our families/relationships with God to be more.

We've decided that if Kristen opens an in home day care, we can make progress towards this goal. So, Kristen has decided to do this and she's quite excited about it. I've got a summer gig lined up and who knows what'll happen after that. It doesn't matter. What will matter in ten or twenty years will be how I used the time I was given.

So, in summary, everyone gives their lives to someone or something. Is the thing that you're giving your life to worth it?

The cycle of poverty

A fellow math teacher teaches in my room during my planning period. Today, she was talking about health insurance premiums and the kids were all going crazy about expensive it is. Then, several kids said, "I'll just stay on my title 19!" Yet another reason why kids/adults in poverty find it difficult to get out of poverty.

Coffee Shop Wisdom

So, I had an idea today. Often times, I have ideas that I'd love to get down on paper or blog about. These ideas go about as quickly as they come and I usually think, "Crap, what was that thing I was thinking the other day..." So, I thought that if I recorded my idea and then posted it on my blog, I'd be able to access it later and others could hear my thoughts and comment if they felt led.

Like a lot of my ideas, they only last for a short time. I may do this once a year, once a month, once a week, or never again. Regardless, here's the recording of a mental connection that I made today after visiting with a lady at a coffee shop.

Thoughts?

Tiny House or Bust

Lately, I've been obsessed. I've realized that a lot of my current desires stem from one thing: the lack of freedom I have.

Now, I don't mean that my wife never lets me leave the house or that my kids tie me down. Mostly, its exactly the opposite.

I have two kids that I've known for only 5 months and their daycare lady sees them more than I do. I have a job that I like about half the time and during some stretches, sort of consumes my life. I have a mortgage, student loans, and a truckload of other bills that are a direct result of the lifestyle I've lived and the decisions I've made (not that any of these are bad in and of themselves).

There are things that I want to do, other than what I do on a day to day basis now. I'd love to coach, teach some adjunct classes at Hawkeye, volunteer more within church ministries and other non-profits. I'd love to be part of my kids' early morning routine instead of only their bedtime routine. I'd love to meet friends for lunch and pour myself into God and into other meaningful relationships.

Instead, I find that I'm mostly spread (thin) between about... 200 people in a given week, half of which, are my students. I find myself thinking of doing other jobs only to come back to the realization that my current job is the probably the only job that supports my family's lifestyle adequately.

And then, I realized something

My lifestyle is less important to me than all of those other things that I'd love to do. So, why do I have a mortgage, a so-so 40 hour a week job, and lack of time for my most meaningful relationships?

I was too afraid to question the norms.

But now that I am questioning them, I've come to something of a conclusion: I would drastically change my lifestyle to accomodate more time with my kids, volunteering, coaching, etc... So, how do I do that?

Well, changing my lifestyle would start with getting rid of the things that keep me from doing the things I want to do. It all boils down to one thing. Money. Right now, my life requires too much of it. My biggest expenses are: My house, our student loans, and daycare. Now, none of these things are bad, but those three things consume about 70% of our monthly budget.

Lifestyle changes happen only when people question the norms. For me, this means thinking about where I spend the most resources and evaluating whether they reflect what I value.

This is where I got crazy addicted to the idea of the "tiny house." These are small houses that people live in that are exceptionally efficient and modern, but super small. The ones I was particularly interested in are built on trailers, therefore ridding the owner of a mortgage, home insurance, property taxes, and a slew of other costs associated with home ownership. All in all, our costs per month would go down by about a third if we lived in a tiny house.

Now, I've got a wife, two kids, and a dog. The tiny thing just probably isn't going to work for us. Besides, Kristen isn't too crazy about it anyway (I believe 'freak' was the the term she used to describe me during that conversation).

Nevertheless, the idea of downsizing substantially to reduce our monthly costs is very appealing. Another thing that we've had a fair amount of luck with is renting our basement. We've been fairly fortunate to have good friends who've needed temporary housing that were glad to use that space. So, a tiny house is not the only way to substantially reduce our monthly budget, nor is it a 'fix all' solution, its just one that looked particularly appealing to me.

Refining.

Bless our God, O peoples,  And sound His praise abroad, Who keeps us in life  And does not allow our feet to slip. For You have tried us, O God;  You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net;  You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins. You made men ride over our heads;  We went through fire and through water,  Yet You brought us out into  a place of  abundance. (Psalms 66:8-12 NASB)

This has been one of my favorite passages for a long time - mostly because I often fall into the bad habit of not spending time with God until I'm at a point of desperation.

Silver is refined by completely melting it, removing its impurities, and letting it harden again. The passage also states that oppressive burdens are laid on us - to refine us. Lastly, he brings us to a place of abundance. He restores us. He wants us to be happy, healthy, successful, etc...

Right now is one of those times for me.  I need to remember that being refined is not fun, but I'd rather not look back on my life and feel that it was wasted because I was always in a place of comfort, either.

Press on. Lean into God. Know that he wants what's best for me too.

Church: Big or Small?

Are churches more effective as multiple smaller units or as fewer, larger congregations? Or, does each several a unique purpose?

I've been attending the church I'm currently attending for 4 (ish) yers now. Sometimes, I'm frustrated because I'll walk all the way from the parking lot to my seat in the gym (where services are held) and not know anyone's name. I have been involved in college ministry, high school ministry, and band at some point during the last four years, so, it seems like this should be impossible. While its better all the time, something just feels odd about it.

Thriving churches have people with healthy relationships. What I've found, is, the larger the community I'm a part of, the harder it is to feel really connected to people. Its much easier to have lots of shallow relationships than it is to have fewer, deeper, more meaningful ones. It's my preference and belief that more is done for the kingdom of God through deeper relationships. In my experience, nothing of eternal value is accomplished when I'm hanging out with people that I don't have deep relationships with.

On the flip side of all that, maybe bigger churches have their place. I emailed the vision leader for the church that I'm a part of about this issue. He agrees that larger churches often have a harder time getting people connected. However, he also told me that our church helped out dozens of other, smaller churches in some way over the last year. What an impact! Also, its not that deep relationships can't happen in a big church, they just often take more initiative than those of a smaller church.

So, as of now, I'd say that its pretty hard to say that the best church size is ____. No church is perfect and if someone claims theirs is, they're not thinking hard enough or aren't telling you somthing.

Yep, we're still here!

It's been awhile since I've written, but we're still here and kicking. The transition back into Iowa life for our new family has been exceptional. We've had so much help from family and friends that, looking back, I'm not sure how would we would have done it without them. The kids have done marvelously as well. They're very excited about all the new things they gotten to experience. They embrace new people, experiences, and weather (haha) with open arms and zipped up coats ;)

When we got back to the states, the first few weeks were essentially saved by my parents, Kristen's parents, and sister/brother in law. We had some financial help and A TON of babysitting help from them. Between them all, they did all the daycare between November 5th and Thanksgiving. This was a huge help. "Thanks" isn't even close to the payment they deserve for helping us out!

We'd been home for 24 hours when we decided to take the kids outside to play for the first time. We bundled them up and took them out. Ironically (or maybe through God's orchestration?), after a few minutes, some vaguely familar faces drove by. They pulled over and got out. It was a mother and daughter who have also adopted and we'd met them at a garage sale last summer. Through this random meeting, we found out that their daughter (Annie) was moving in 4 houses down from us. Also, she was planning to open an in-home daycare! Also, randomly enough, I'd tutored her in Geometry when she was in high school while I was attending UNI. So, not only does Annie have experience with adopted children, but she lives 4 doors down. The kids talk about "Annie's house" all the time. I'm starting to think that I've slipped from being #2 (behind Kristen, of course) to being #3 in the kids' eyes!

The kids have even taken to the cold weather and snow quite well (I know it's been mild so far, but in Africa, it never got below 55 degrees). They've been sledding and played in it quite a bit. Christmas was also a joyful time. In general, the kids have taken in all the new experience, places, and people exceptionally well. They love all the attention they get from family and friends.

On December 26th, we also got to officially adopt them in Iowa! On the way to the court house, I remember feeling like, "Oh, crap. Here we go again." Our experiences in Uganda made me feel like something would go wrong for sure. However, all of our family was there, the judge and lawyers were all in good moods, and we were in and out in about an hour (waiting room and all)! This was such a nice Christmas present :) Its now official!! Another huge reason why this is important is because we can now apply for the adoption tax credit on our income taxes this year! This should help pay off some of the loans we've incurred because of the adoption.

We've been blessed, to say the least.

Looking at the ground we've covered since we flew out on August 20th, it seems crazy. We've got a 4 year old and a 3 year old that act as if they've been brother and sister since birth. We've also got a house that looks like a tornado hit it eveyday. But, its all worth it :)

The only real headache we've had since landing in Iowa is getting the kid's health insurance nailed down. Its nearly done, but its made us quite nervous, especially since they both ALWAYS have runny noses and Viola has had a cough for several weeks now. Other than that, I'm not sure there's anything I could complain about.

Thank you all for all your support and prayer! I may have slit my wrists the long way if not for you ;)

Oh, and the kids love visitors, so if you haven't stopped by yet, please do!

Derek, Kristen, Viola, and Gideon